Stress is one of those words we use so often that it almost loses meaning.
People say they’re stressed about work, family, schedules, expectations, money, decisions, health… life.
But most of the time, when someone says they’re stressed, what they really mean is:

• I don’t have space to think.
• I feel like I’m always responding to something.
• My mind never shuts off.
• I’m tired, but I can’t slow down.

Stress isn’t always one big event.
Often it’s the accumulation of small pressures that never fully release.
The good news is that reducing stress doesn’t always require a major life change. Sometimes it starts with small, intentional shifts that create breathing room in your day.
Here are five strategies I’ve seen actually help people in real life, not just in theory.
1. Create One Non-Negotiable Pause in Your Day
Most people move from one demand to the next without a transition.
Wake up → responsibilities
Work → more responsibilities
Evening → mental replay of the day
Your nervous system never gets a signal that it’s allowed to reset.
A pause doesn’t have to be long. It just has to be intentional.
This might look like:

• Sitting in your car for two minutes before going inside
• Taking three slow breaths before opening your laptop
• Stepping outside for a brief moment of quiet
• Choosing not to fill one small gap with your phone

The goal isn’t relaxation.
The goal is interruption: breaking the constant forward motion that keeps stress building.
2. Reduce One Decision Each Day
Stress isn’t only emotional. It’s cognitive.
The more decisions your brain has to make, the more pressure it carries. That’s why small things can feel overwhelming when you’re already stretched.
One simple strategy is to remove one decision from your day.
You could:

• Plan meals ahead
• Set a consistent morning routine
• Choose specific days for certain tasks
• Decide in advance what you will not take on

When you reduce decision fatigue, you create mental space. And that alone can lower stress.
3. Name What’s Actually Stressing You
Many people feel stressed but can’t pinpoint why. So the stress just floats around as a feeling instead of becoming something manageable.
Try this shift: instead of saying “I’m stressed,” ask yourself:

• What exactly is creating pressure right now?
• Is it time, expectations, uncertainty, or emotional weight?
• Is this something I can influence, or something I’m just carrying?

When stress stays vague, it feels bigger.
When it becomes specific, it often becomes more workable.
Clarity doesn’t solve everything, but it lowers the intensity.
4. Adjust Expectations Instead of Only Pushing Harder
One of the biggest stress drivers I see isn’t workload, it’s internal pressure.
People tell themselves:

• I should be handling this better.
• I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed.
• Everyone else seems fine.
• I just need to push through.

But stress doesn’t always mean you’re weak. Sometimes it means your expectations haven’t caught up with your reality.
Reducing stress sometimes starts with asking:

• Is what I expect from myself realistic for this season?
• Am I measuring myself by an old version of my life?
• Do I need to adjust the timeline, not just increase the effort?

Sometimes relief comes from permission, not productivity.
5. Let One Thing Be “Good Enough”
Perfectionism fuels stress in quiet ways.
It keeps people overthinking decisions, redoing work that was already fine, and feeling behind even when they’re not.
Choosing one thing each day to be good enough instead of perfect creates immediate relief.
That might be:

• Sending the email without rewriting it five times
• Cooking something simple instead of impressive
• Leaving a task at 80% instead of 100%
• Allowing yourself to stop when the important part is done

Stress often grows in the space between reality and perfection. Closing that gap, even a little, can make a difference.
The Dr. Kelz Lens: Stress Isn’t Always About Time. It’s About Capacity
From both an educator and counseling perspective, stress isn’t just about how much is on your plate. It’s about how much emotional, mental, and physical capacity you have available to carry it.
Two people can have the same schedule and experience very different levels of stress.
Stress increases when:

• Energy is low
• Support is thin
• Expectations are high
• Responsibilities feel constant
• You don’t feel allowed to step back

Reducing stress isn’t always about doing less. Sometimes it’s about restoring capacity — through rest, boundaries, clarity, support, or honesty about what this season actually requires from you.
Real-Life Takeaways

• Stress builds when there’s no pause.
• Clarity reduces emotional weight.
• Expectations often drive more stress than the situation itself.
• Small changes done consistently matter more than big changes done once.

Reflection Question
​What is one small shift you could make this week that would give you just a little more breathing room?

Many songs have been made about survival over the years, including I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, Survival of the Fittest by Mobb Deep, and Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, and Stayin Alive by the Bee Gees to name a few. They all communicate a message about hanging in there and what it takes to survive. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, survival means “the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.” Is it really true that only the strong survive? What constitutes as strong and who is responsible for defining strength?  What if strength has nothing to do with survival? Perhaps, it is endurance that makes survival possible, hence defining strength.  Let’s define endurance. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines endurance as “the ability to withstand hardship or adversity; especially : the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort or activity.” We exist until we no longer do, therefore every day is natural survival.   If you are breathing, you are surviving, so the key is in the endurance of our existence. How are you choosing to survive, by enduring or existing?  

I know the definitions seem similar, but I see something much greater between them.  For example, you survived a car accident, but you endured the recovery. You made progress instead of laying there defeated.  I remember when my father began his recovery for a leg amputation. His attitude and desire to walk again helped him endure the struggles that came with recovery. He could have chosen just to survive/exist and not progress. The ability to endure the event is the true strength because some people do not make it. There were some people in the rehabilitation center that complained and chose to do nothing, succumbing to depression and limited mobility.  Not everyone thinks they can endure, nor can the find the strength to do so. We all exist and are surviving daily, but some of us lack the endurance to go beyond our mere existence.

You could choose to wake up daily and do nothing, or you can choose to continue with the next day of your life seeking betterment, balance, peace, and sustainability. If you choose to maneuver through each day, each struggle, each circumstance, and each situation, congratulations you are enduring! You are doing more than just letting life consume you.  Whatever the reason, you continue to move forward, which is indicative of endurance. Moving forward means taking a step that you are comfortable with, not the steps others order for you. It might be a shuffle or a leap, either way, the ultimate movement is forward. It could mean you choose not to be involved in something, start a new career, take time for yourself, try something new, enter into personal coaching or counseling, take your health back, or take a stand for something that has silenced you for many years. Your movement represents your ability to endure the entity and move despite the pain or obstacles. The absence of endurance adds to the chaos and has the potential to create feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

Today, declare your commitment to move and say it boldly.  NO MORE. NO WAY. I CAN. I WILL. You might feel like the tortoise, but we all know he won in the end.  Helplessness is not an option. Make the movement matter and celebrate each success because it is personal for you, regardless of how big or small the step. It is your life, and that small movement can have an enormous impact physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Fight to sustain and withstand the turmoils that will come and go in life.

Believe your endurance is essential for your survival. It will change your experience. It will give you information to share with others to help them endure. It will change your perception, and it might even change your very being.  Fight for the change that jump starts endurance, and make a choice to do more than merely exist. Let the final line of your story fluctuate between the following: I can endure. I will endure. I have endured. I live with endurance daily.  Never give up on living beyond your existence.

“Persistence and endurance will make you omnipotent.”
- Casey Neistat

References
survival. (n.d.) In Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. Retrieved from
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/survival.
endurance. (n.d.) In Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. Retrieved from
http://www.merriam- webster.com/dictionary/endurance

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According to the Merriam Webster dictionary coincidence is defined as “the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection.” Coincidences do not exist because all life has a purpose, therefore the connection is real for that appointed time and place in your life. The opportunity manifested itself and for the first time maybe you saw it or maybe it also shown itself before and you did not act on it. Another missed opportunity can be from your pain and how it can impact those around you. Either way the event occurred just as it should and your perception of it in that precise moment determines the ultimate outcome of the experience.

There are no accidents in life. Our behaviors, experiences, thought patterns, and personality continuously contribute to the management of our lives. It’s funny when things go right we are overwhelmed with joy and happy to take credit. However, when things go wrong we forget about our personal accountability in the situation or forget to think about how our experience can help someone else.  In all things, good or bad, expected or unexpected, there is something that occurs that can act as a change agent for those around us.  There is freedom in our joy and pain; a purpose beyond our limited comprehension to help mankind. Our experiences are a vessel for others to learn and grow, along with fulfilling a quest for self-healing.

A wonderful, courageous friend of mine does not let anyone forget that there is a purpose for their life and everything that happens in it. My first blog is dedicated to Addriana Montalvo, CEO of Purposed Steps and author of Shoes for Yana.  She is an amazing, powerful woman that has pushed me off the ledge.  The ledge of fear and restriction that developed from my life experiences.  For many years I have struggled with my place, my worth, and my freedom, but I never doubted my purpose.  Addriana gave me the opportunity to see myself in a different light. Her subtle words and attentive listening pushed me into a place that I have been trying to go for years, walking in my purposed steps.  

In your life people will come and go. Some stay for a season and others a lifetime.  Regardless of the reason, the role they play in your life and their contributions to your experience has a purpose. It is not a coincidence!  It does not matter what they brought to the table. What matters is what worth are you assigning to these individuals?  You must sharpen your evaluation skills and look for growth opportunity in all things. Do you have enough courage to embrace a disheartening situation the same way you would embrace a positive one to seek personal fulfillment and growth?  Do not settle for a coincidence, but rather live in acceptance of life and its’ possibilities through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    “Coincidence is God's way of being anonymous.” - Laura Pedersen, Best Bet

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